Best Friends Till Death Do Us Part
by faRHaNa eMEraLdz
Summary: She said I love you too many times... He said it back... but not the kind she wants... he's doing it over and over again... her heart breaks over and over again too... what to do if you only have less than a year to live?
1. Chapter 1: Heartache

**Disclaimer: I don't own CCS… I just own the plot… **

**Author's Note: I was making the slides for my final project presentation when this came up in my mind… it was distracting me that I need to let it out before I finish my slides… kinda crazy when you got all of that in your mind and a lot of things to do but still write when there's no time to waste before the presentation… might have lots of grammatical mistakes but I don't have time to recheck it… hope you like it and wish me luck for my presentation.. k??? and my examiner is the strictest lecturer I had all thru my degree… really need all the luck I can get… TT_TT**

**Best Friends Till Death Do Us Part…**

**By: faRHaNa eMEraLdz**

The breeze was soothing and nice as it caressed the red cheeks of the girl sitting so peacefully on the swing at the park near the university. It was cold but nice nevertheless. The weather was bright and looked so calm. She knew she needed to be at the class but the breeze was so nice that the time slipped her mind. She moved her legs back and forth slowly with her eyes closed tightly. The bell in her mind rang, calling her to go but her body won't listen. She opened her eyes slowly and looked at the blue sky.

"God is cruel," she whispered to herself. She would have preferred a rainy day than that bright day with the birds chirping so happily. She sighed inwardly and finally stood and walked to the university. She was having the worst day of her life and it was not getting better.

She slipped into her class as silent as a cat trying to catch a mouse. The lecturer was enthusing on and on about why they should take the class more seriously rather than fooling around outside the class. The least favourite class for most students but she liked it anyway. She loved the class. The lecturer may be a train of non-stop blabber but she was a good person. She wanted the students to have motivation but with that kind of mouth, no one listens to her despite her good intention.

"Sakura, you're late," the lecturer looked at her as she finally sat at the back of the class. Good and there she thought the lecturer did not notice her at all. Everyone looked at her as she smiled sheepishly and apologized.

"Sorry ma'am. I overslept," she lied as amber caught her attention. She looked at the guy with amber eyes who had a smirk plastered on his face. He was saying 'You take all the attention from us. Sweet,' with that handsome face of his. He was evil, an evil best friend nonetheless. Thickheaded but evil nonetheless. After getting some more lectures on behaving with the right manners and all, she was finally released to practice the manners she had just learned from her lovable lecturer. The tension being lectured that early in the morning made her hungry. She was walking to the café with her mind thinking about what she should get there when she bumped into something. Something hard but it was not hurting her. It wasn't that hard that she would break her nose.

"Oof," she was startled and looked up to see what was getting in her way. Well, it was not a what, it's a who. There, standing in front of her, the same guy who had a smirk plastered on his face when she calmly lied to the lecturer and still had that smirk on his face. She scowled at him but he just chuckled at her.

"What's so funny, Syaoran?" she asked, annoyance on queue.

"You are," he said as he leaned on the wall with her looking dangerously at him. She might just kill him with her look.

She put out her right hand in front of him and arched her brow, "Pay then. It's not free, you know." He shook his head and put his arm around her neck, "Nah, I'll just pay for your food. With all that tension, I know you'll be so hungry, you could eat an elephant."

"That's more like it. I can eat everything, right?" she asked with a smile on her face. She could be bribed with food and he knew it, "Of course, honey. I'll pay with the golden card. I don't that much cash, you know." He said with a cocky look on his face.

"Jerk!" she stuck her tongue at him as he ruffled her hair playfully, "But you love me nonetheless, right?" he asked with a knowing look. He let go of her and walked ahead, knowing she would follow him. She walked slowly and whispered inwardly with a sad look on her face, "Yeah, I love you so much that it hurts."

She clutched her aching heart when suddenly a girl came running to her. She was gasping for air when she reached her. Sakura quickly put her hands down and looked at the girl with a smile.

"Are you okay, Sakura? You're not hurt anywhere, right? I saw you clutchi…" the girl was cut off by Sakura who quickly said she was fine. Syaoran turned back and looked at the girls. He was checking up the girl that just came running towards Sakura. He stayed silent as the girl looked so flushed up over Sakura. Sakura was getting restless but the girl was very concerned of her.

"I'm okay, Tomoyo. Stop fussing already. It was nothing," Sakura said with a forced smile. Tomoyo hugged her and said to call her if anything happened. She was about to get going when she saw Syaoran looking at her. She scowled at him and tugged at his collar before she whispered in his ear, "If you EVER hurt her, I'll KILL you slowly that you would be begging for death." With that final word spoken and a death glare in tow, she left after hugging Sakura again.

"Who's that? She's feisty and HOT," he said with a smile on his face. Sakura looked at him with disbelief but replied nonetheless, "She's my cousin, Tomoyo Daidaoji. She's not in your league. She's Eriol's fiancée." He was a playboy. She knew what he was thinking of doing. She had known him for so long that she knew what he was going to do and stop him before he get in too deep.

"What? Eriol? She's with Eriol? And I thought I could play with her," he said with a frustrated grunt. Sakura hugged him tightly and said, "You could play with me. I love you."

Syaoran chuckled and hugged her back, "Yeah, yeah. I love you too. Let's go eat. You're hungry, right?" Syaoran said and dragged her into the café. He was always like that. Every time she said I love you, he would always shake it off as if it was nothing. Was she so insignificant that he would never consider her as a lover material, just a best friend at best? He's cruel but he did not know that.

She was angry, very angry at him. She was so mad that she would make him pay for everything she wanted to eat that day. It was childish of her but she never had the courage to hurt him. She was too nice for her own good, Tomoyo would say that. She took all kinds of foods and stuffed them on the tray. She even took the most expensive cake just to relief her anger. Let him do the paying and she will do eating. Syaoran's eyes went wide at the mounting tray and then looked at Sakura with disbelief, "Are you sure you're going to eat all of these?" Sakura nodded and sat on the chair unceremoniously. She just got manners lecture and she was rebelling against them just a few minutes after that. Just because of a certain person who got her angry.

"Yeah, I'm eating all of these and you're not going to get any," Sakura said grumpily and started eating without looking at Syaoran who went to pay for the foods. Sakura was angry and he did not know why. Every time he said he loves Sakura, she would always get mad at him. Was there anything wrong with him saying he loves his best friend? She was one weird girl and that was what attracted him to her in the first place. So, mustn't grumble. She was not all sunshine to begin with.

He sat in front of her with a cup of black coffee as he looked at her who ate with enthusiasm. She was not even looking at him. Yup, she was mad all right.

"Hey, what was wrong with you last week? We should have been to the concert but you didn't show up. I tried calling you like a hundredth times but you never answered. And what's wrong with that cousin of yours? She was threatening me," Syaoran asked as Sakura choked on her food. She took a drink before taking a long breath. Syaoran patted her back with a concern look on his face.

"I'm sorry. Family matters. It was urgent and I forgot to tell you. I was panicking that I left my phone at home," Sakura smiled sheepishly and scratched her head.

"Emergency? What kind of emergency?" he asked suspiciously.

"You know, the emergency like an ambulance coming to our house. My… my father… yeah… my father, he had a heart... no... a heat stroke and Touya called and said to meet him at the hospital," Sakura explained eagerly as Syaoran became more suspicious with all that stuttering Sakura had been making.

"Are you sure? You sound really unsure to me," Syaoran thought she was making an excuse for herself for not showing up at the concert but Sakura nodded her head eagerly to tell him she was definitely not lying.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry. So, who you went with last week? I know how freak out when you had to go to the concert alone," Sakura asked, suddenly had the urge to change the subject at hand.

"Oh, I went with Hikari, she was really mad when I said I want to go to the concert with you but she looked quite happy when I called her to come after you ditched me. But she wasn't really interested with the band, that's for sure," Syaoran said with a playful hurt look on his face.

"Oh, you went with your girlfriend," Sakura said with a genuine hurt on her face but she quickly smiled to hide her sadness. She was supposed to be with him that day but he went with his 3-weeks-old girlfriend, Hikari who really despised Sakura for always clinging to Syaoran. Well, that was what she said to her anyway. Without Syaoran in the picture. She even brought her to the back of the gym to threaten her. Just like a high school bully. She was the little angel with the bright halo in front of Syaoran and behind his back, she was like Medusa, trying to kill every girl that tried to even catch a glimpse of Syaoran's hair. She never turn the guys to stones, she attacked the girls instead. Quite the stalker girlfriend for all Sakura knows. But she never said anything to Syaoran. It was not her place to sully her perfect angel act. Syaoran never listen to her anyway.

"Serve you right for ditching me," Syaoran said as Sakura put a bun into her mouth to hide her unhappiness.

"Hey, I didn't ditch you. I'm really sorry, okay? It's not like I intended it to be that way. I was really panicking and didn't know what to do," she told the truth this time but Syaoran wouldn't know even if she lied. Syaoran has always been thickheaded and Sakura hated him for that. Direct confrontation was always the right way for him. If you go beating about the bushes, he won't understand and just take you for a joke. She was jealous of Hikari's forwardness and just told him what she felt and got what she wanted, Syaoran.

"Yeah, yeah. You said that already. Apologies accepted. I know you didn't mean it. Stop making that face. It looks like you want to throw up or something," Syaoran patted her head and Sakura gave him a smile.

"Really a jerk at heart," Sakura said and Syaoran was about to say 'but you love me nonetheless' when Sakura beat him at it, "But I love you nonetheless."

"That's my girl," Syaoran grinned at her as Sakura just shook her head at his silliness.

"If I'm your girl, then what's Hikari to you?" Sakura asked jokingly.

"You're my 'girl friend' with a pause, she's my girlfriend. It's two different entities," Syaoran explained as Sakura smiled, trying to hide the hurt in her eyes.

"Then, you're my boyfriend, right?" Sakura asked but said inwardly, "With or without pause."

"Yup, that's right. The best of all," Syaoran puffed up his chest and looked all cocky to Sakura.

"Okay, okay. Enough with all this best friend's thing. I really need to go. I just got one class today but the lecture got too long and you knew why. Touya needs me at home right away. Thanks for the food," Sakura said and was about to leave when Syaoran took her wrist in his larger hand.

"Hey, can I meet you tonight? I need to tell you something important," Syaoran said, suddenly all serious. Her heart skipped a beat when she looked at his intense stare and had her hopes high, not too high to actually let her feelings show.

"Yeah, sure. I'm at home all night. Be careful climbing," Sakura said with a big grin on her face. He never come to her room the normal way, you know, the knock on the front door and inspection from her protective brother. He always climbs the tree that located near her room and knocks her window three times before she opens it. It was like Romeo and Juliet; she had hoped it was like that, minus the tragedy and the drama in it. But dream was dream after all. They were nothing like Romeo and Juliet, they were just two normal teenagers. The girl had unrequited love for the guy and the guy was oblivious to the love she bore for him. They stayed friend for the rest of their lives and never said anything about her love for him. Wasn't that sounded too pitiful? Was that all in her love life? Pitiful as it would get.

That night, she waited for him quietly in her room. She was restless, her heartbeat was thumping in her chest. What would Syaoran tell her? Maybe he loves her. Nah, that's too over the top. She had her own problem at hand. She needed to tell him the truth too. It was not good to keep it from him. He would get angry if he had heard from someone else and not her. It could be a huge mess and she doesn't want to be the one cleaning it up.

She heard the rustle of the tree and the knock on her window. He was here. Sakura opened her window and let him in. He looked around before getting into her room, "I feel like a thief right now." He said as he sat on her bed.

"Then, what are you going to steal in here?" Sakura asked innocently with a smile on her beautiful smile. She was wearing her pajamas already as Syaoran eyed her clothes. She looked cute with the cherry blossoms pajamas.

"Your heart of course," he answered casually as Sakura gasped silently with a slight tint of blush.

"You don't have to steal it, it's already yours to begin with," Sakura answered after a long pause. Syaoran looked at her and stayed silent for a moment.

"That's a joke, right?" Syaoran laughed silently as to try not to alarm her protective brother. She turned her face away from him and looked up at the ceiling, trying to stop her tears from escaping her eyes. She laughed too with a pained look on her face but Syaoran never saw that, "Yeah, it's joke for you."

Sakura looked at Syaoran who already made himself at home as he laid on her bed as if he belonged there. He had his eyes closed as Sakura laid beside him and stayed silent for a moment until she could not bear the silence anymore.

"Hey, you said you need to tell me something. Come on, tell me already. I can't bear this silence anymore and I need to tell you something too," Sakura said as Syaoran opened his eyes and leaned on his elbow.

"You do? Then, you tell me first," Syaoran said as he looked into her eyes. Sakura shook her head and nudged his shoulder, "No, you tell me first. I can wait. You look like you want to tell me already."

"Your command is my wish, ma'am," Syaoran said with a grin plastered on his face.

"It's supposed to be the other way round, right?" Sakura asked with a frown on her face.

"No, it's the right one actually. You command me to tell you and I'm already wishing you let me tell you first," Syaoran explained as Sakura smiled at his foolishness.

"Well then, tell me already," Sakura nudged him again and Syaoran put his mouth on her ears and smiled while doing it. Sakura's breathe hitched at the contact but stayed silent, "I'm going back to Hong Kong. I'm going to take over the business and the elders won't take no for an answer. If I decline, my rights to be the heir of the clan will be taken away and given to one of the snobbish sons of the elders. I'll be going there for a year for training and all. After one year and if I pass all the obstacles that the elders has prepared for me, I'll be the next heir of the Li clan."

Sakura was too speechless to say anything. Her mind was a mess, "Did he just tell me that he would go to Hong Kong? He would leave me? For a year? I must have misheard him."

"You're… you're going to Hong Kong? For a year?" Sakura asked as Syaoran shook his head and sighed deeply. Sakura was in total relief when he shook his head.

"Didn't I just tell you that? I'm going to Hong Kong for a year and I can't say no to the elders. Did you get it this time?" Syaoran asked playfully as Sakura just stayed silent for the longest time ever. Syaoran closed his eyes again to let Sakura registered what he had said to her. He opened his eyes again and looked at Sakura who still had that shocked look on her face.

"Sakura, are you okay?" he waved his hands in front of her eyes that stayed blank for the moment. He shook her shoulders and she finally came to her senses.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm fine," Sakura said but her heart couldn't believe it.

"So, what do you need to tell me?" Syaoran asked and looked at her who looked like she was going to cry but the night was dark and he must be seeing things. Sakura was a strong girl in his mind. She was not going to cry over such little things like parting with him for a year.

"I… I kinda forget what I want to say," Sakura said as Syaoran chuckled at her antics. She must be so shocked that she forgot all the things she wanted to say.

"How did Hikari take it? She must be really mad, right?" Sakura asked about his so-called girlfriend. Sakura was supposed to be mad at him. He was leaving her behind. He was going to miss all the festivals and memories they should be making for a year. She might never meet him again and he was happy to leave her behind. He said it so nonchalantly that he might never care about her in the first place. He was cruel to do this to her and she had to ask about his girlfriend. What the irony in it?

"I broke up with her. She can't do long-distance relationship and I was okay with it. There's lots more fishes in the sea, right?" Syaoran said with a smile. Sakura looked hurt but he ignored it. Hikari was never nice to Sakura and he was sick of it. Sakura was his best friend and Hikari took her for granted. Little did he know, he was doing the same thing except Hikari was doing it on purpose but Syaoran did it without his conscious.

Sakura did nothing to stop him. She was just like any other girl to him. She was just a little fish in the vast sea. He would never look at her. He was the pride of his family. She was just a normal girl in a normal family. She had got no elders to worry about. She had no reign to take control of. She had nothing on him.

"When are you leaving?" she asked the dreaded question. Syaoran sighed deeply and said the inevitable answer, "In a week. You're going to send me, right?"

Sakura nodded and smiled. What else can she do in a time like that? Make a tantrum? Rolling around and begging him not to go? That was so not her and Syaoran was just her best friend. She could not do that to him. She needed to support him, not making his life miserable with her antics, "Of course, I'll send you there. You're going to keep in touch, right?"

Syaoran smiled back at her and hugged her tightly, "Of course I'm going to keep in touch with you. You're my best friend. You're my life, you're the air that I breathe and what else? Oh yeah, the apple of my eyes."

"That's too extravagant. Best friends don't do that kind of till death do us part, okay?" Syaoran laughed at her remark as Sakura was shivering. She finally realized the window was left unclosed and the cold as getting to her. Syaoran saw that and closed it for her. He laid back on the bed and pulled the blanket up to her neck. She was his best friend and he was going to miss her. She was always there for him for either good times or bad times.

"Hey, Syaoran. What if I only have less than a year to live? What would you do? Would you still choose to go back to Hong Kong or would you stay with me?" Sakura asked him as Syaoran laughed at her, "Is this a joke for me too? You're going to live a long life and you're going to find a fine husband that will take good care of you with lots of children and can keep up with your childish and overprotective brother."

"Ha ha! Yeah, it's a joke," Sakura laughed and pulled the blanket over her head. She was shaking under the blanket and Syaoran thought she was laughing so hard that she was shaking like that. Little did he know, she was crying her heart out. She was trying to stifle her sobs and when Syaoran tried to pull her blanket to tease her, Sakura held the blanket firmly, "Syaoran, I'm sleepy. I'll meet you tomorrow, okay?" she said with normal voice as much as she could. Syaoran tried to tug the blanket again but Sakura wouldn't budge. He sighed and said his goodnight to her. He slid to the tree and closed the window before he left her house. She started to sob when she was confirmed that Syaoran had left her compound. Her heart felt so painful and wretched all over.

"God, you're so cruel," she said silently and cried her heart out. Touya heard her cry and quickly came into her room. He was panicking when he heard her sobbing, "Sakura, are you okay? Do your heart feels any pain? You need to tell me, Sakura or else, I can't help you." Touya pulled the blanket away from her and looked at Sakura, all curled up in a ball on her bed.

"I hate him! I really hate him!!" Sakura yelled as Touya tried to sooth her pain. He pulled her up and cuddled her into his warm arms. His beloved sister was in pain and he couldn't do anything. She was sleeping in his arms with tears-stricken face. She was exhausted that night. A lot had happened and nothing seemed to favor her.

A week passed and the day that Syaoran was going to Hong Kong came by. She was to send him at the airport. She went there with Touya but Touya just stayed in the car though he was aching to be with his sister in the airport. No one from their school came as they had already had a parting party for him yesterday. It was so messy but fortunately, Tomoyo and Eriol offered to help her clean up as she sent him to the airport. Touya and Syaoran was bickering like mad in the car but finally slowed down when Sakura scowled at both of them.

"So, this is goodbye," Sakura put her hands into the pockets of her coat.

"Yeah, see you in a year and be a good girl," Syaoran teased her and ruffled her hair just as he did every day. But what he didn't expect was Sakura to tug his collar and gave him a kiss. His eyes were as big as a saucer, startled to be kissed by his best friend. He gasped when the kiss finally registered into his mind and Sakura deepened the kiss to another notch.

The people around them were watching them as they finally parted from their intense kiss. They were panting for their breath. His eyes were glazed and Sakura had a tint of blush on her face. Syaoran finally come to his senses and looked at Sakura in disbelief, "What was that for?"

"That's, my friend, is my parting gift and I'm not going to be a good girl before saying what I want to say. I want you to remember me. Always," Sakura said with eyes glistening with tears. She could not bear to let him leave her but being the heir of the Li clan had always been the destiny of Li Syaoran and she could never take that away from him.

"That's one hot parting gift, Sakura. I never thought you could kiss like that," Syaoran smirked and gave her a bear hug while whispered to her, "I never could forget you. You're my best friend."

Even with a hot kiss like that, he still thought her as a friend. What a thickheaded guy he was. Could he never tell that best friends don't kiss each other? Best friends don't do such things like kissing in public. Sakura knew she could never get what was on that mind of his. He was brilliant as a leader but thickheaded as a guy. She hated him for that but that's what made her fall for him too.

"Have a safe trip, Syaoran. I love you. Always," she said without trying to convince him that she was in love with him. It was futile anyway. He would take it as a joke no matter how many times she said the three words to him.

"I love you too, Sakura," he said, smiling all the way into the departure lounge. Sakura was trying her best to stand on her feet. She was trembling when Syaoran looked back at her but she stayed strong. When he disappeared from her sight, Sakura leaned on a wall, clutching her heart with all her might. Her trembling hands searched frantically for her phone. When she finally found the phone, she quickly dialed Touya's number.

"Sakura," Touya's voice was heard from the phone while Sakura gasped for air, "Onii-chan, help." Touya quickly got out from his car and searched for Sakura. When he found her, she was sitting by a wall, clutching her heart, "Where's your pills?" Sakura just shook her head, telling him she didn't bring it with her. He frowned at her but said nothing. He put her in his arms and frantically carried her into the car. People were looking at her as she was sweating all over. He quickly drove to the nearby hospital and she was sent into an emergency room. He gave the nurse a small book with all the details about her disease. The nurse gave it to the doctor in charge and the doctor's eyes went wide and looked back at Touya. He smiled with force and went into the emergency room.

When Syaoran arrived at Hong Kong, he tried to call Sakura but no one answered her phone. He was worried. Her face was a bit pale when he left her but he said nothing, just waving at her. Maybe she didn't get enough sleep the night before. They were partying like mad for all he knows. She was not the type who went to parties to enjoy herself. She was more like the forced friend who was dragged to a party. She was the best at being a best friend but not quite enough to be a lover to him. She was his support. She just knew what he needed and gave it to him without him asking for it. And he was starting to miss her. Like never before.

"For God's sake, I just set foot out of the plane and I'm already missing her," Syaoran hissed and walked out of the airport where a car was waiting for him, "Li-sama, welcome back."

Syaoran just nodded his head and went into the car while the driver put his luggage in the back of the car. He was restless as he tried again and again to reach Sakura but in vain. She was not picking up. Why didn't she pick up her phone? Three days had he tried to call her but still in vain. The dial tone and the service operator's voice were the only things that reached his ears. Never Sakura's. His cousin, Mei Ling was eating an apple on his bed when she said something to him, "Why are you so frantic? Maybe your girlfriend is busy. Just chill out. She'll call you sooner or later."

Syaoran looked at her with disbelief with gaped mouth, "She's not my girlfriend. She my best friend." He said with a frown on his face. Mei Ling smirked with the infamous Li's smirk and tsked at him. He looked like he would throw the phone at the wall and she just loved looking at his miserable face for the last three days. It was fun to look at the usual stoic guy to show some emotions on his face. He was always emotionless when meeting with the elders but in the confine of his room, he was always showing different kinds of emotion to her. His so-called best friend must had been the one who made him like this and she just love to meet her and congratulate her for making him human.

"Best friends don't look like that when his best friend doesn't call in three days. Best friends don't worry about other guys when his best friend doesn't call in three days. Best friends don't grumble and look so pissed thinking that his best friend might be too busy to actually call him," Mei Ling said and got up from his bed and put the apple into Syaoran's mouth before he could say anything, "Think about it. You're not being a best friend right now, you're being a jealous guy who is so thickheaded, you don't see that you're in love with her and miss her so much that you look so helpless and I'm helping you to realize it sooner than later." She left Syaoran with an apple still stuck in his mouth as he pondered what she had said to him. He came back to reality when he felt his jaw was aching with that apple still stuck in his mouth. He pulled the apple from his mouth and threw it into the bin beside his bed. He rubbed his sore jaw and sighed deeply, "I'm in love with her? That can't be. She's my best friend, right? I miss her so much. Man, I thought I know what love is. Now, I don't know anymore." He sighed again and looked back at the phone in his hand, "Where the hell are you, Sakura?"

Sakura was hospitalized for three days and was finally released after she refused to stay in the hospital for another day. She refused to eat and the nurses were having trouble to persuade her. Touya asked her doctor-in-charge to let her go home and he would take care of her. She could be as stubborn as a mule when she wanted too.

Tomoyo was the first person she saw in front of her house with a red face to match with her red tank top. She was mad, she could tell. She was beyond mad actually and being the target of the fury of a fashion designer was not on Sakura's list. It could get ugly but Tomoyo was her best friend and her cousin. She won't get fired, she would be sitting on the floor, listening to all her angry babbling until she was cooled or finally had no words to say to her. And that day, she won't be cooling down any time soon, she would be babbling until there were no other things to say to her.

"Listen, Sakura. This isn't supposed to happen. You should stay in the hospital when the doctor says so. You should listen to them but noo… you threw a tantrum and refuse to eat. Are you insane? They are trying to save your life and you're not doing anything to cooperate with them. Is that what you supposed to do, Sakura Kinomoto?" Tomoyo asked with a frown still evident on her face. Touya stayed silent and sat on the sofa the farthest from Tomoyo. He did not want to be at the end of her fury anytime or anywhere. She was like a giant tarantula, devouring her prey viciously.

"There's no hope, Tomoyo. I don't want to be confined in that white room. I'll go crazy," Sakura was calm as ever. She knew that Tomoyo would be mad at her like that. But she had lost hope. There were no other ways to save her life. The doctors also had said there was still no cure for her disease. If it was cancer, she would be undergoing chemotherapy or radiotherapy but her disease was not that simple. Her heart was deteriorating and she was not supposed to be under stresses or doing anything heavy that would require her heart to pump harder than usual. Her heart was weakening and there was no cure at hand that could help her. Less than a year, her heart would stop functioning and death would take her away from her family, friends and love just like what had happened to her mother. It was genetic heredity. Artificial heart was no answer to her too. It was too risky in her condition. Her mother did undergo the operation for artificial heart implant but her body rejected it and she died on the spot. The cause was still unknown and she would not take that risk. If less than year was all that she got, she would have that less than year to live her life the way she wanted. At least, that was what she thought before Syaoran left her.

Tomoyo sighed harshly and closed her face with her hands. She was trying her best to stop herself from crying herself out. Sakura was her cousin and her best friend. Why would a cheerful and kind person like her had to undergo that kind of life? She was supposed to have a happy and long life with lots of children to cherish. And she could not help but to say some 'brilliant' words to that jerk that just left her best friend to spend her last few months alone. Sakura loved him with all her heart but he would always take it as a joke. She saw it a few times when he would just take her words lightly and left her to be hurt and licked her own wound. She had told Sakura she would tell that playboy jerk what he was missing but Sakura would stop her from doing so every time. Eriol was doing the same. He was very protective to Sakura. He was there when Sakura had her first heart attack. He was comforting her when they went to the hospital and Sakura was in the emergency room. He even punched a guy who had tried to flirt with Sakura at the parting party for the jerk. That insolent jerk was not even aware that the guy was displeasing Sakura so much that she was about to cry. He was happily having the time of his life without considering his so-called best friend.

Sakura knew Tomoyo was sad and angry. But she would not stay to see that pitiful look on her face. She hated the look that people gave her. They made her sad. She wanted to live just like any other but it was not going to be that way if the look they give her were just that looks. It was disturbing. She went into her room and laid on her bed. She looked up at the window and look at the calm clouds going by. She sighed and closed her eyes when she heard her phone ringing. She got up and looked for her phone. It was in her bag that she brought the last time she met Syaoran. She looked at the number and smiled.

"Hey, what's up?" she said as she laid back on her bed.

**Author's Note: This fic was supposed to be a oneshot but the story keep dragging and I actually hate the ending I was supposed to give this story… I have two choice in my hands right now… and I would love if you would help me to choose. It is either a happy ending or a sad ending… I want to make it so it would have a very sad ending but the story keeps dragging… it's as if my mind unconsciously give a hint to give it a happy ending… I really don't know what to do right now… really… am I bad person??? TT_TT **

**HELPP!!!! **


	2. Chapter 2: Denial

**Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait… too many works to do… my dad was renovating the house and I had to help and when night came, all I do is sleep… too tired… Here's the last one…**

"Hey, what's up?" she said as she laid back on her bed.

"Hey, what's up! You have got to be kidding me. It's not funny, Sakura. I tried calling you so many times that I lost count. And you have got the guts to say 'what's up?' to me?" he was yelling and Sakura had already put the phone away from her precious ear. She was not going to lose her hearing because of his anger.

"What the hell?" Syaoran kept on talking and Sakura kept on listening. He was restless and he hated Sakura for not saying anything but 'what's up'. It was not fair. He was seriously worried and she sounded so calm when he almost felt like breaking everything in his room. He became angrier with her antics. First the kiss, and now the hide-and-seek she played.

"Three days, Sakura. Where had you gone to?" Syaoran finally calmed down and sighed deeply after his rambling at Sakura. She was smiling. He missed her so much that he got mad at her. She was sure she was normal before she met Syaoran but to become happy when someone was mad at her was not normal. She never thought he would be so mad that he kept on rambling at her and whatnot until he was out of breath and she was happy, very happy that she could not help but smiling brightly.

"Hey, why aren't you saying anything? Did you suddenly become dumb or something? Sakura, are you there?" Syaoran asked but only silence was his answer. He was getting angrier by the second. He knew Sakura was laughing silently. He was sure.

"Sakura, if you don't say anything in 5 seconds, I'll hang up. I'm serious," Syaoran said with trace of anger still obviously heard through his voice.

"I'm here. I was not laughing at you. I'm happy," Sakura knew he thought she was laughing at him. She had to make it clear before Syaoran get the wrong idea and hung up on him.

"Happy? You're happy and here, I was worried like hell. Where were you?" he said, still very angry.

"I'm happy because you're worried about me. That means you love me and I went to Tomoyo's house right after your flight. Silly me, I left my phone in Touya's car when he sent me there. So, there. Sorry," she lied to him through and through. No pause at all. She had it all planned in her head when she was hospitalized. Syaoran would call her and the 303 missed call displayed on her phone was the evidence she could never deny or ignore.

"So, did you miss me?" Sakura asked while her eyes focused on his picture that was decorating her nightstand. He was smiling a goofy smile, embracing her around her shoulders with his head on top of hers. It was a nice picture. Her colleague took that photo when they went to have a picnic with all of their course mates under the cherry blossom tree at their college.

"I miss you so much," Syaoran answered. Sakura stayed silent for a moment. He usually makes a joke about missing her but to suddenly have a straight answer from him was not something she expected from him. It was very peculiar but she said nothing.

"I miss you too… just like I miss having my hamburger right now. I'm starving," Sakura finally spoke when she had a grip on reality. She needed to stay calm and sounded usual to him, not sick, not sad, just the usual Sakura that Syaoran had known all his life.

"Well, then… I miss you… and I feel like hell. Never thought I'll be missing you like this," Syaoran said and sighed with relief, finally listening to her voice. It felt like a heavy anchor just being lifted from his chest. She was not avoiding him.

"Serve you right. Who told you to leave me behind?" Sakura smiled, beaming as she finally heard his deep, boyish voice. She missed his voice and over the phone, it sounded huskier than the voice she used to hear.

"And this comes from the girl who sent me to the airport?" he asked with a raised brow. Sakura chuckled and nodded her head.

"Yup, now you know how I feel. It hurts like hell," she murmured to herself.

"Sakura, I can't hear you. Stop mumbling," Syaoran was getting annoyed again.

"I said your voice sounds deeper in the phone," Sakura said, never wanting to repeat what she just said to herself. It was for her, not for him.

"You can't be serious. I'd called you so many times before. Did you hit your head anywhere?" Syaoran sounded incredulous but Sakura stayed silent.

"I never listen to your voice carefully before and I just realized how different your voice is in the phone. When someone leaves you, you suddenly take notice the little things," Sakura chuckled as Syaoran stayed silent because she was right. Usually he would be saying, 'you need to see a psychiatric now.' But not today. He suddenly took notice that Sakura's voice was strangely attracting him to talk to her. It was smoother and lovelier than usual. They kept on talking until Touya's voice was heard, "Sakura, come down. Dinner's ready."

"That's my queue, I'll talk to you later," Syaoran said as Sakura said her goodbye.

Three months went by smoothly, well if we didn't take note the three times heart attacks that Sakura had for that three months. They were caused by her strange behavior to oversleep before class which ended with her not going to the class at all. She was getting weaker and easily tired. Even when she took a walk around the house, she would need to take a breather before continuing. She was stubborn, Touya was stubborn as well. She kept on telling her brother that she wanted to enjoy her life to the fullest but Touya kept on telling her to stay seated like a good girl and stopped doing everything recklessly. She won't listen to him and he won't listen to her. Her father was having hard times to bring them back to agreement.

"Touya, don't push her too hard," Fujitaka said after Sakura stomped back into her room.

"I want to keep her alive, Otou-san. I don't want her to leave us, like Okaa-san did," Touya sighed deeply as Fujitaka patted his back, "It's inevitable. I did the same thing to your mom but she…"

Touya looked at his father and sighed again. He knew that there was no cure for her sickness but he wanted to try. He wanted to try to give her a longer life. But the heart attacks kept coming, warning them that the inevitable would happen and nothing could be done to prolong her life. Sakura knew that but Touya tried to convince himself that Sakura could be saved a bit longer.

Tomoyo and Eriol were helping her around the campus. Sakura would be accompanied by either two of them to make sure she did not anything reckless. Having an overprotective brother was one thing, but having two overprotective friends and one overbearing but still loving brother were getting on her nerves but she played along with all their antics. They were being careful, that's all. She knew that. They were being considerate. She knew that. They were trying to say they love her. She knew that too. But it became too much to handle lately.

Syaoran kept asking her why he sometimes could not reach her and of course, she told him a lot of lies than the truth. She knew she didn't have much time. She knew all the symptoms. She used to see her mother having a hard time coping with the disease. Never thought she would be the one to display the same symptoms. At least she knew what to expect.

Syaoran was still in denial even when Mei Ling had pointed each time he went berserk when he couldn't reach Sakura. He said he was just being protective. Sakura was a naïve girl, guys would take advantage of her innocence and whatnots. Mei Ling was having a hard time trying to convince the stubborn heir of the Li clan. He could be a pain in the neck if he wanted to and there was no painkiller that could make the pain goes away. Stupid Syaoran!

Two more months went by without any sign of the heart attacks. Tomoyo was relieved. She even happily made Sakura a dinner dress that she could wear when Syaoran comes back. She was reassuring herself that Sakura would have more than a year to live. Sakura knew everything wasn't that simple. It was the calm before the storm. Sakura knew that. Touya knew that. Fujitaka knew that. They had all seen what happened to Nadeshiko. She was perfectly fine for two months before she went into coma.

Sakura needed to do something, anything, and fast. She had to give Syaoran a call, the last time before anything happened. She did not want to take a risk, so she called him.

"Hey, you're okay? You sounded awful," Syaoran asked when he heard Sakura's voice. Her voice was huskier as if she had a cold.

"Oh, I'm having a cold," Sakura lied, again.

"Take care of yourself. If I was there, I would make you my infamous chicken porridge that you love so much," Syaoran was smiling childishly that Mei Ling could do nothing but shook her head. He was childish and immature but she could not help but loved her cousin that was too stubborn to listen to her. She knew how much he hated her when she was right.

"Yeah, I miss that," she choked a bit but quickly recovered.

"So, what's up? You don't call me if it wasn't for anything," Syaoran said.

"Ouch, that hurts. Can't I call my best friend anymore?"Sakura asked with a pout.

"Spill, I don't really have time for chitchatting, you know. I'm a busy man," Syaoran joked but Sakura was not laughing. She just kept silent, "Hey, it was a joke, Sakura. Don't take it seriously."

"I know. Well, actually, you're right. I need to tell you something," Sakura said as Syaoran waited for her to continue, "I've got a job. You know that company I sent my resume by hand?"

"Oh, yeah. I remembered. You really wanted that job that you asked me to go with you, right?" Syaoran said just to confirm it.

"Yup, that's the one. I got the job but I'll be going to some rural areas that don't have very good line. So, if I couldn't reach you, I'll send you letters, okay?" Sakura said carefully but as soon as she was finished, Syaoran was yelling at her, "What the? Why can't you stay in town? Man, this sucks."

"You know, I want to get a job there. I can't just decline when I finally got the job," Sakura said, trying to stop Syaoran from whining.

"Okay, okay. But stay in touch and keep away from guys," Syaoran warned her and Sakura just nodded and said she would be careful and she hung up after a few more little banters.

Syaoran finally realized something that was not quite right. Sakura, she had stopped telling him that she loved him. She stopped saying 'I love you' when he left her. She usually said that each time she called but he just realized she stopped all of all that 'I love you'. It was sudden but his heart was aching to hear her say 'I love you'.

He tried to convince himself that it was nothing. Sakura might not realize it. She still loved him as a friend, right? Was that what he wanted? Her love for her best friend? Was that it? Oh, god. He just realized that he did love her. Not as a friend but as a woman, a beautiful woman that he had wasted his time to convince himself that she was nothing but his best friend. He needed to tell her but first thing first. He did not want to freak her out. Everything had to be done perfectly. First, he would get his title, then he would go straight to her. She would know of his feelings for her. He would propose to her. They would have their happily ever after and had a lot of children. It was perfect. His imagination was.

The first letter came in after a month of nothing. He lost contact with her and suddenly a letter came in and was put on his desk, at the corner of the desk. He was frantic for a month and to finally receive a letter from her was all it took to light up his whole world. He was not focusing in his training and the angry remarks from his teachers and the elders were nothing but a passing breeze that grazed his face. His world was crumbling without her and having seen her beautifully handwritten letter was all it took to make him smile and start making his life in order again. She said she was sorry for not contacting him. She was too busy trying to blend in and there were just too many things that had to be done and when she got home, she was too tired to write a letter. Sakura actually had a hard time blending in? He questioned himself. That was a first. She was usually the type that didn't have to do anything and people just flocked around her to start a conversation.

The second letter came again after another month. He did try to contact her but only reached her voicemails. She was really having the time of her life. He wanted to reply her letters but there was no return address that he could actually reply to. He was too focused on Sakura that he forgot that Sakura did have another best friend who hated him that she might actually kill him if he did anything wrong to their best friend, Tomoyo Daidaoji.

The third and the forth came knocking his door for the next two months. He suddenly felt like he was living the era where email and SMS were not even invented. People were waiting for their loved ones to send those letters just to tell them that they were fine. How could they cope with that kind of longing? It was romantic in a way. Now, people took granted of these small things just because they had technologies to rely on.

His training was coming to an end. He was eager to finally meet Sakura. Everything would be all right. His imagination would be fulfilled and become reality. He just received the acceptance of the elders after undergoing very painful and tiring obstacles that finally acknowledged him as the leader of the Li clan. Little did he know, he would be left with only memories. He had planned everything. He would go to the Kinomoto's and ask for her whereabouts. He would meet her and bring her the biggest bouquet of flowers and propose her to be in his life forever and ever. Happily ever after. Full stop.

He did go to the Kinomoto's and ask for her whereabouts. Fujitaka was the only one at home when he arrived. The house smelled different. The usual pleasant cherry blossom's smell that he used to smell when she opened her door for him was no longer there. Touya and Tomoyo were working. Why would they be working on Sunday? Some workaholics they were. Fujitaka stayed silent for quite awhile.

"Where is she? I have to meet her. I need to tell her so many things. Can you give me her address?" Syaoran asked again. He couldn't hide his smile any longer. He was ecstatic.

"I'll bring you to her," Fujitaka broke the silence and stood up from where he was sitting. He took his coat and locked the door after Syaoran walked out of the front door. Wow, Fujitaka must had missed her so much that he was coming with him to meet Sakura. Well, couldn't blame the father. His beloved daughter left him to catch her dreams. Syaoran drove the car and followed the directions that Fujitaka gave to him. It was strange. They didn't leave the neighborhood at all. When he asked him to stop at a graveyard, something was bugging him. He suddenly felt nervous and scared. His body was telling him not to move, his mind was in overdrive. What was Sakura doing here? Wait, maybe Fujitaka wanted him to meet Nadeshiko, Sakura's mother? But why now when he said he wanted to meet Sakura? Maybe she was here, visiting her mother? Fujitaka seemed strange too. His behavior was.

"Follow me," Fujitaka said but Syaoran just stayed seated on his seat, looking all confused. Fujitaka opened his door and went to his side and pulled Syaoran out of his seat. He finally followed him after getting over his overridden mind. They walked along the graves until they reached a grave that Syaoran was familiar with. Yup, he was right. They were visiting Nadeshiko. But Fujitaka only stopped for a moment to caress her tomb and walked a little further from his beloved wife's grave. His heart was thumping in his chest. Something was not right. They stopped at another grave but Syaoran just looked at Fujitaka with where-the-hell-are-you-taking-me look. Fujitaka looked at him and then turned his eyes to the tomb. Syaoran did the same after awhile to see Sakura's face looking back at him. Was this some kind of a sick joke?

"Who is this?" Syaoran asked but Fujitaka never answered him. Syaoran saw the face, he saw the name but he was denying it by asking the obvious question. He wanted Fujitaka to say that this was all a joke. That what he saw wasn't what he had in his mind. That what he saw wasn't Kinomoto Sakura that he finally realized he had feelings for. That what he saw wasn't the Sakura that he loved so much and planned to marry. That what he saw was just a lie. That what he saw was just a dream. That what he saw was nothing but just a mere prank, a MERE prank.

Fujitaka couldn't help himself or Syaoran anymore. Syaoran looked like he would break down at that very moment, that very second. His eyes were cold. His happy expression and eyes that were so full of love had disappeared. He couldn't take it. It was too much. Fujitaka knew from the moment he stepped into the house with his overeager face, he was in love with his beloved daughter and finally realizing it. He knew that he needed to tell the truth even though it might break him apart.

"She had a genetic disease. Her heart was deteriorating. There's no cure and artificial heart was too risky. She got less than a year until the heart deteriorated completely. We did everything just to keep her alive. She was in coma for almost three months and then, things went from worse to worst. Her heart was deteriorating very fast. She fought with all her might but she couldn't cope with it anymore. It stopped beating two weeks ago," Fujitaka explained but Syaoran stopped listening when Fujitaka said she had less than a year. She was telling him the truth. She was not supposed to be dead right then. She was supposed to be a healthy girl, having the life of a 21 years old. She was supposed to wait for him patiently. She was supposed to say a yes when he would be proposing to her. He tried to continue listening to Fujitaka but he could only listen to few words. His mind was a mess, his heart was a mess, and everything was a mess.

Why didn't he listen to her? Why didn't he answer her question the way it should be? He would be telling her that he would stay by her side forever. There was nothing more important than her to him. The dreaded title that he had tried to get was nothing without her. Oh God! He was too late. Too late for everything. She was not there anymore. How was he going to live? There was no meaning anymore.

He kneeled in front of the tomb and touched her picture. He couldn't feel anything. All his senses were numb, "Why? Why do you leave me like this?" He should be crying right then but his tears gland was not functioning. Everything stopped in his body. He forgot how to breathe, he forgot how to cry, he forgot how to feel.

Suddenly, he felt a pat on his shoulder. He should turn his head but the body refused to listen to him. He couldn't take his eyes away from the picture. It was not Fujitaka. He was beside him. Someone was behind him and he needed to see who. Really, please listen to me, body! Don't go all malfunctioned right now! But the person made it easier by kneeling beside him and put a bouquet of lilies in front of the tomb. It was Tomoyo. The usual hating eyes were not there. He was being pitied by her. Oh God! She wanted to comfort him when he did nothing but hurt her beloved cousin and best friend. Oh God! Don't do this. Don't make me more miserable! Don't do this!

Tomoyo was always there at this time. She missed Sakura's laugh, she missed all of her banters and antics. She knew that she could never see her again. But seeing Syaoran there and with that look, she couldn't help but pity him. If only she was thinking more of Sakura and not only herself, she could have better memories. She could be with Syaoran. She could be happy.

"I'm sorry, Syaoran," Tomoyo only said that and never wanting to elaborate on it. It was too much. She would break down in front of him if she starts to say more than that. Syaoran just glanced at her and turned back to the tomb. Tomoyo put her hand into her bag and took out a CD and some letters with his name on all of them. She put in onto his rigid hand and said softly, "They are from Sakura. I'm sorry again."

Fujitaka and Tomoyo couldn't stand his sadness anymore. It was too pitiful and miserable to see. They had to leave and leave they did. Syaoran stayed there until he started to feel his tensed muscles aching so much that he had to get up from there. There was only her ashes at the graveyard, her soul might be anywhere in this world. He needed to go somewhere else. It was getting suffocating there. Everything was suffocating him.

He went home. He was amazed he knew the way back to his home with all the mess in his head. Was that his home? His home was with Sakura. He knew that. There was no more home sweet home in his dictionary. It was erased the moment he stepped out of the graveyard. He looked into his right hand that was still clutching at the things that Tomoyo had given to him.

Yup, he needed to take a look inside. The CD and the letters. Seven letters and a CD. He counted in his mind, "The CD first," he said to himself and put the CD into the player.

"Hey, is this thing already on, Tomoyo?" her slightly weakening voice was heard and then her face that was a bit paler than the last time he saw her was seen in the screen.

"It's on, I'll be leaving now. You press this button when you finish, okay?" Tomoyo's slightly trembling voice was heard but she never came on the screen. She must have been behind the camcorder.

"Okay, thanks Tomoyo," her eyes were following Tomoyo when he heard the door being closed.

Sakura turned her eyes back to the screen and smiled brightly, "Hey, Syaoran. If you get this, then you already knew about what had happened and I had passed away. Please listen until the end, okay?"

Syaoran kept looking at her pale face. She was not that pale when he saw her at the airport. Her usual pink hue was not there. She was wearing a big sweater over her shirt. Her hair was slightly messy than usual. She was a messy girl to begin with but her hair was always smooth and manageable that it amazed him sometimes. Well, compared to his. She was thinner. A lot thinner than usual.

"You know, I'm sorry I lied to you all this time. I never intended to do so but things had to be done the way it should be. I don't want to hold you back. Don't be mad, okay?" she said and turned her face back, hiding it from the screen. She was sniffling a bit and he could see she was wiping her tears.

The usual Sakura would never cry like that. He never saw her cry before. She was usually very strong in front of him. This couldn't be the same Sakura he knew all his life, right?

"I'm sorry. I lied about a lot of things to you. I know how much you hate liars but I can't help it. You might not forgive me but I'll tell you the truth. All of them. So, please listen to me. I'm having a guilty conscious right now," she smiled bitterly in the screen with her slightly wet face, tears still hanging, just right at the corner of her eyes. She sighed and tried desperately to smile but failed miserably. She bit her lips and sniffled a bit. She looked beautiful. He never thought he would love seeing her in tears and biting her lips anxiously.

"You remembered the concert that you had to go with Hikari when we were supposed to go together? I know how frustrated you were when I didn't come. I wanted to go, really… I really wanted to go with you. I even had the clothes, camera and camcorder ready a week before the concert. I'm sorry I couldn't come. My father hadn't got the heat stroke. I had my first heart attack, Touya called the ambulance when I passed out. That's why you couldn't reach me. My father was hoping that I would be blessed with good health. You know how I am. I am very energetic, right? Never thought I'll have the same gene as my mom."

He knew she was lying back then. She was stuttering all over when she said her father had a heat stroke. Fujitaka was way too charming to have a heat stroke. Why did he just let it go? He should be harrying her with questions until she tells him everything and things would not be like this.

"And when I sent you at the airport and you couldn't reach me for three days, I had the second heart attack. The doctor said I was under a lot of stress. So, he kept me in the hospital for three days and Touya only brought my bag on the third day. What cruel brother I had. And every time you couldn't reach me after that was all because of the frequent heart attacks I was having. It was getting worse. I'm sorry I worried you,"

He was too clueless. She had been giving hints all over the place but he never took her seriously. Why would she talk about death suddenly, out of blue when he told her that he had to go back to Hong Kong? She was desperately in need of answers and he was laughing at her antics. She was not laughing under her blanket. She was trembling, trying to stifle her sobs when he left without urging her to tell him what was going to happen to her. She was desperately trying to be the usual Sakura that he saw nothing was wrong with her. She was dying when he left her. She got only less than a year to live and he left her for his fortune. He left her to live a lonely life. She was his best friend and he left her to suffer alone.

"The kiss that I gave you was not a parting gift. I was desperate to have a last memory of you. I needed to feel you one last time before you left. I just wanted you to remember me always. At least you would remember the kiss your best friend gave you, right?"

The kiss, how could he forget that kiss she forced on him? The kiss that made him realized that he was in love her that he did not want anyone to touch her while he was away. How many times had he gone berserk, suddenly having the thought that any guy could be hitting on her, kissing her in Japan while he was in Hong Kong? He was in denial when she was struggling with her life.

"I'm sorry I used Tomoyo to send you letters when I couldn't even lift my fingers. Don't be mad at her. I'm to blame. I begged her with my teary eyes and she couldn't refuse. I had the letters ready beforehand. I don't want you to suddenly come back when you're busy. I don't want to ruin your future. I know you would be coming back, running if you have to. I'm sorry," her tears were rolling then. Her sobs were louder. Her sniffles were quicker. Her eyes were glistening with tears that kept on falling down her face. The tears that were small before came down in big droplets then. They were like rain droplets.

Her voice trembled a bit and her body was shivering a bit too. Syaoran could not hold his tears anymore. Sakura was right. He would be running home if he knew. He wanted to be there when she needed him. He wanted to embrace her every day that she had been living without him. He wanted to be able to say 'I love you' to her. He wanted to go everywhere with her, show her everything in this world before she left him. He left her and now, she left him forever.

"I'm sorry that I'm being selfish. I'm sorry that I kept everything from you. I'm sorry for not telling you when I had the chance. I had too many chances but I never take them. I was too afraid to tell you. I'm sorry, really… I'm really sorry," she was choking every now and then. Syaoran sat in front of the screen. His knees were getting weak. They couldn't hold him anymore. He caressed Sakura's teary face but they won't stop. The tears kept flowing down her beautiful face. It was cold, tears should be warm, right? It was nothing like her. She used to be so warm, very warm. Not like this, too cold.

"But I never lie about one thing, Syaoran," Sakura looked at the screen as if Syaoran was in front of her. He could never be able to caress her face anymore. He could never be able to feel her warmth anymore. He could never be able to see her bright smile anymore. He could never be able to see her again.

"I love you, Syaoran. I love you. Not as a friend but as a man. I love you as a man. I'm sorry that I troubled you with my confession but I love you so much that it hurts. I'm sorry for loving you," Sakura clutched her chest and the tears came again. She was in love with him till her last breath. He never got the chance to tell her the same thing. He was so stupid. He never meant his 'I love you' till she was gone.

"I love you too, Sakura. I love you so much it hurts. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry I'm too late. I'm sorry," Syaoran looked at the screen, caressing the cold cheeks of Sakura as Sakura smiled at him with never ending tears. She walked to the screen and the screen went black. Just like his heart. It was as black as the dark night. No stars to light up. No moon to shine on. There was nothing to feel anymore. She was not there to make him feel. She was not there to light up his life. She was not there to shine on the path he took. She was not there to be his best friend. She was his best friend till death do them part.

Sometimes… heartache is what we need to realize what's important to us…

**Sorry… I can't do happy ending… I did try but it was getting nowhere… and when I started writing the tragedy… it flows too beautifully to be ignored…. Sorry again…. Hope you like it… No flames… R&R please…. =)**


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